Hi, I'm Mike. Some of you probably know that already. I hope to someday have a career reviewing movies and I thought I would start here. I know that in today's world you are constantly bombarded with opinions and biases and agendas, and I am making an oath to you right now to try not to allow any of those things into my reviews. I will not give these movies ratings of any kind, but simply give you the following facts about the movies I review:
1. Who the target audience of the movie is.
2. How much the target audience will enjoy the movie
3. What some people might enjoy about the movie.
4. What some people might not like about the movie (I.E. negative reactions that are not necessarily mine)
I suppose you are wondering what makes me different from all the other babbling fools on the internet who want to tell you what movies you should watch. The difference between me and them is I will never command you to see or not see a movie. I will only tell you why you may or may not like it. You see I believe that many critics today do not do their job. Their job is to tell you what is good about a movie and what is bad about it, not just to get their own private rants out there. For example I once read a review of the film Spider-Man 2, where the critic spent the majority of the review talking about Tobey Maguire's eyes. A lot of times the movies critics like are not the movies people actually want to see. I for one, can certainly understand how seeing so many movies can make someone less likely to like a movie that has a generic and predictable formula, however, that doesn't excuse the fact that we as critics have a duty to moviegoers to tell them only the facts about movies and not let our personal opinions get in the way of that. Obviously as with all media personal opinions do show through, and I will usually let you know my opinion of the movie. The main difference between me and everyone else is that I do not expect, nor do I particularly want my opinion to become yours. One thing I learned a long time ago is that there is only one person who can tell you what movies you should see and that person person is Ebert Roper. Okay, Okay, I'm kidding (Although he is more of a real movie reviewer than just another guy who rants) That person is you, you have to take the information I give you about a particular movie, combine it with what you know about your likes and dislikes of movies and decide for yourself if you want to see it. I cannot tell you how many movies I've seen and then regretted wasting my time watching them, I can only hope I provide enough accurate information so that you don't make a horrible mistake in picking a movie to watch. So if you are tired of hearing "critics" yell at you about why you shouldn't go see that new blockbuster movie that just opened, I'll be right here to tell you why you might actually enjoy it. Of course I will mention stale plot formulas, underdeveloped characters and poorly written scripts, but these things don't necessarily mean that you won't enjoy the movie. For example, you will find that I am a huge sucker for slow-motion. I know it's a gimmick, but it works every time for me.
I suppose that you are also wondering what makes me qualified to be your voice of reason when it comes to film. I assure you that I have seen many films myself and I know what makes a film enjoyable to people. I know a lot about cliches and predictable story lines, but I also know that some of them still work no matter how many times you see it. A film is never simply good or bad. Instead there are a lot of variables that go into a film such as the acting, the dialogue, the special effects, the soundtrack, the costumes, even down to the lighting and make-up, so that if even one is done poorly, or lazily, it detracts from the film as a whole. I also recognize that when it comes to movies there is a very large variety of what people like. Some people love generic horror movies that follow rote formula to fault. Other people like mind bending thrillers that keep them guessing.
I know that a lot of movies today contain material that might be offensive to some people (Like Lindsey Lohan) and so I will let you know about what kind of objectionable material will be in these movies and whether or not it subtracts from the experience as a whole. I am not going to go as far as some people and count the profanities and describe every violent deed or impure thought of the movie, because that is just ridiculous. However, I will simply let you know the general nature and spirit of the movie.
I want to state this again. I cannot tell you what movies you should watch, I can only tell you what movies you might like, and what movies you might not like. So check out some of my reviews. You just might like them.
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