Once upon a time, in the mythical kingdom of Fargo; I found a piece of lint in my pocket. Now the circumstances leading up to this event are almost as interesting as the event itself. It started out like a normal day; I woke up, ate breakfast, did school, and other boring daily routines. Little did I know that this boring, perfectly ordinary day, was about to turn into something completely unexpected!
I was out doing more boring rituals, that were required to complete the day, when I stopped and had a lovely conversation with my good friend Alfred the vending machine. Now Alfred didn’t talk much, but I still considered him a good friend; because he supplied me with the one thing I wanted most, a bag of M&Ms. However, on this fateful day, he did a most peculiar thing; he denied, my request for M&Ms!
“How could you Alfred!” I screamed, “I thought we were friends!” He simply stood there silently, and when I asked again once again for the candy he said, “Out of stock. Please, make another selection.” I was stunned. Another selection? But M&Ms were all I had ever known! Who was he, a lowly vending machine, to tell me that I had made the wrong choice of candy? How dare He, (Just a old worthless vending machine!) refuse my request. I gave him the money he asked for! And yet he still refused, with that constant, now irritating, “Please make another selection” I was becoming very angry at this point, so much so that I was considering finding a sledgehammer and breaking him open, once and for all ending his reign of refusing candy to people who need it.
But then, I began to think about my friendship with Alfred. We had known each other for a long time, and this was indeed the first time he had refused my demands. I decided, as a favor to an old friend, I would humor him just this once. I selected a Hershey’s chocolate bar. This was of course, that delicious milk chocolate, that would literally melt in your mouth. The taste alone, was worth whatever Alfred wanted me to give him. Of course,, I was not a pig. I would not eat this delectable treat all at once. No, I would save some for a future date, where I once again desired to feast on something so pleasant.
Hours passed, after a while I had all but forgotten about the luscious delight that lay in my pocket. I reached down and grabbed that which I had tasted only a few hours ago; and realized with horror, that the scrumptious delicacy that had been there, naught but a few hours earlier, had now been transformed into a gooey, sticky chocolate mess. And that’s when I saw it, a piece of bluish greenish fuzz mixed in with this delicious chocolate. It was most certainly ruined now! How could I, put such disgusting matter inside my mouth, even if chocolate was included?
And so, that is why, I know have a deep seeded hatred for that putrid blue-green filth that migrates into the pockets of many. If you or someone you know has been afflicted with this cruel trick of nature, just remember: It’s never too late to tell someone. I know that each and every one of you will suffer by the hands of this wretched abomination, but I can only hope that you will not know such pain as I have.
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